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At 5.58pm on 7 December 2017 history was made by the Parliament of Australia passing the Marriage Equality Bill. The bill received overwhelming support from almost all parties – the Nationals, Liberals, Greens, the crossbench and Labor, and their vote was cheered on by a packed public gallery.

The change is a simple one. From Saturday, 9 December, marriage will be the ‘union of two people to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life’. It means that same-sex couples will have the same rights as all other couples.

Relationships Australia strongly believes that marriage equality is critical, and joined the call for Australians to vote ‘yes’ in the recent postal survey. We are pleased to see that yesterday, most elected representatives voted according to their electorate’s wishes.

Marriage equality, quick facts:

• Australia is the 26th country in the world to legalise same-sex marriage
• From Saturday, 9 December anybody wishing to marry will be able to lodge a Notice of Intended Marriage
• The notice of intended marriage starts the one month minimum notice period required before the solemnisation of marriages under the Marriage Act.
• The first day couples can marry is 9 January 2018

Marriage Discrimination is Harmful to LGBTI Australians’ Health

As leading health organisations we call on the Australian Government to legislate for marriage equality and put an end to marriage discrimination.

It is our shared professional opinion, based on conclusive evidence, that denying people the right to marry is harmful to their health and wellbeing.¹

The longer we delay marriage equality, the longer people in LGBTI communities will experience the negative health impacts of being denied access to the same rights, privileges, responsibilities and institutions as the rest of the population.² This is a burden on these communities as well as our health system.

The evidence clearly shows that LGBTI communities have significantly higher rates of depression, anxiety, substance abuse, self-harm, suicidal ideation and suicide than the general population.³

LGBTI people have poorer health outcomes not because of who they are, but because of societal stigma, discrimination and prejudice that results in their ill treatment and social isolation.

In addition, given past negative experiences, some LGBTI people are also reluctant to access healthcare services, resulting in delayed treatment, which further contributes to poor health outcomes.

Australians have always valued the principle of a fair go for everyone, but LGBTI Australians are not getting a fair go when it comes to marriage, and this inequality is negatively impacting their health.

Discriminatory legislation is an impediment to LGBTI people achieving the highest attainable standard of health. In line with our human rights obligations, Australia must legislate for marriage equality.

Our elected representatives have the opportunity to create lasting and positive change that the community supports. It is time to legislate for marriage equality, and help close the health gap created by marriage discrimination against LGBTI Australians.

1. http://www.acon.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/Marriage-Equality-Evidence-Review_web.pdf; https://ama.com.au/system/tdf/documents/Marriage%20Equality%20-%202017%20-%20AMA%20position%20statement.pdf?file=1&type=node&id=46077; https://www.ranzcp.org/Files/Resources/College_Statements/Position_Statements/PS-83-LGBTI-mental-health-2016.aspx; https://mhaustralia.org/general/marriage-equality-statement
2. http://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/2604258
3. http://lgbtihealth.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/SNAPSHOT-Mental-Health-and-Suicide-Prevention-Outcomes-for-LGBTIpeople-and-communities.pdf; https://aspe.hhs.gov/system/files/pdf/75106/report.pdf

Clarke Creek is a small community 2.5 hours south of Mackay and one of the remote and regional communities hardest hit after ex-tropical Cyclone Debbie crossed the Queensland Coast almost two weeks ago. The community of approximately 170 residents has been doing it tough coming to grips with the damage and huge financial costs they face as the clean-up in this community continues. Over the weekend, two counsellors from the Mackay venue travelled with a team of other workers from the Department of Communities and other government agencies to provide support and assistance to the Clarke Creek community. RAQ will continue to provide ongoing counselling support to this community working with the Department’s outreach teams from Mackay, Bowen and Proserpine. As the floodwaters recede in Rockhampton and residents begin the clean-up, RAQ continues to work with the local disaster management committee and provide community response services. Our staff are continuing to provide support to clients who access our services and to the broader community. RAQ sincerely thanks our staff for their commitment to their clients and communities and the contribution they have made during the past two weeks. All our venues are now open as usual including Bowen, Mackay and Rockhampton.

On 3rd November 2016, the Queensland Office for Women and Domestic Violence Reform announced the release of the Queensland Violence against Women Prevention Plan 2016-22.  

The Plan has been designed to address the gendered nature of violence against women and represents the final piece of the Queensland policy framework to address violence against women and children in Queensland. It will complement the Domestic and Family Violence Prevention Strategy 2016–2026, Queensland says: not now, not ever, and supports the Government commitment to the National Plan to Reduce Violence against Women and their Children 2010–2022 and the implementation of the safety priority area of the Queensland Women’s Strategy 2016–21.

For more information and a copy of the Queensland Violence against Women Prevention Plan, visit https://www.communities.qld.gov.au/communityservices/women/queensland-violence-against-women-prevention-plan

Domestic and Family Violence Protection and Other Legislation Amendment Bill 2016

The Domestic and Family Violence Protection and Other Legislation Amendment Bill 2016 (the Bill) was passed by the Queensland Parliament on 11 October 2016.

The Bill is part of an ongoing reform process in response to the report of the Special Taskforce on Domestic and Family Violence in Queensland and makes important improvements to better protect victims of domestic and family violence and their families, strengthen the justice response to domestic and family violence, and support the delivery of integrated service responses.  

Information on the key changes is provided in the factsheet.

The amendments will commence on a day to be fixed by proclamation.

• you are concerned about your own gambling;
• you are affected by the gambling of a family member or friend;
• you are a health and community support worker, worker with people affected by problem gambling; or
• you are a community member interested in understanding more about responsible and problem gambling.

BRISBANE

GOLD COAST

Gold Coast Titans vs Parramatta Eels Game –  Mermaid Beach Gambling Help staff will be set up at the entrance of Round 20 Titans v Eels game on Saturday 23 July & Round 21 Titans v Sharks game on Monday 1 August. There will also be a short RGAW clip played on the big screen during the game.

IPSWICH

GLADSTONE

MACKAY & WHITSUNDAYS

Other RAQ Venues

Communication, conflict management, and family separation is my field.  Today on my drive to work I was pondering the power of words. How easy it is for words to influence our feelings and interpretation of situations and things. 

With separated families we will often use the words “the other parent” or “the child’s mother/father”, or perhaps “Jimmy’s dad”. This may not seem like a big deal, however many parents in a separated family situation often refer to the other parent as “their ex” or many other not-so-pleasant names.  You know the type of things I mean.

When someone is “your ex” it is all about the intimate personal relationship you shared but no longer have… and often this connection brings up feelings such as anger, resentment, guilt, grief, disappointment, and so on.  Why would you have anything to do with “your ex” after you’ve separated?  Usually it is only because there are children involved.  Therefore your relationship is no longer about that intimate personal relationship which hasn’t worked out for whatever reason—it is about you both being parents to your children.   

One mother I was working with referred to her son’s father by some pretty strong names, even more when she was talking to her current partner.  Although she did not do this in front of the child, I decided to discuss the power of words.  I explained basically similar to what I have above.  She’d always spoken with so much anger and hatred about her son’s father in our sessions. 

It was some time before speaking with her again.  She seemed different when she came in and when I asked how she was, she surprised me with what she proceeded to tell me.  She had taken on the wording I had spoken to her about and only referred to her son’s father as the child’s dad or by dad’s proper name or child’s father.  She said she felt a difference in how she felt, she didn’t feel as consistently angry towards him anymore.  She explained that the teachers had even mentioned a positive change in the child – “he seems more settled” they told her.  She had even noticed that when she went to the children’s contact center for changeover she asked if child’s father was here yet and noticed her son was happier and more relaxed.  It was then she had realised that previously she always had this anger when she thought about “him” and when going to changeovers she would ask in a harsh tone “is HE here yet.” 

It was such a positive story and outcome. 

Now over to you. How do you communicate with your children and others about your children’s parent?  Do your words reflect your feelings and/or do they tell your child that their other parent is someone you hate?  What consequences are there for you and your child to the words you use? 

Everyone would remember the little taunt at school, “Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me.”  When my sons attended school the school changed this saying to respond to the recognized potentially damaging power words have. 

We have a little poster at work which says, “Every arrow you shoot at the other parent goes straight through your child’s heart.”  How many arrows have you shot? 

Have you experienced a relationship breakup in the last 12 months?

Researchers at Bond University are investigating how well individuals cope with relationship breakups. By understanding how individuals adjust after experiencing a relationship breakup the researchers hope to provide information on how to minimise distress following relationship breakdown.

This questionnaire will take approximately 40 minutes to complete and you must be over the age of 18 to participate.

This research has human ethics approval.

For more information and to participate please visit: https://www.psychdata.com/s.asp?SID=169188 

Recently a co-worker came in to the office with a young boy who hasn’t had the easiest of times in his life and on this particular day a significant event had occurred.  As the worker involved had a number of things to organise and discuss with the manager, I spent some time entertaining this 5yo. It didn’t take much and we were soon engrossed with pretending to change the tyres on the toy trucks and so on, with quite a few giggles from our young guest. To be honest accessing my own inner child and engaging with a child on their level is always enjoyable for me!

It was obvious he had no desire to discuss anything heavy and under the circumstances that was perfectly fine, he didn’t need to. After a short while he peers at me and states that he remembers me. He believes I’m a woman who used to come to his school (in a totally different town) and help him. He remembered her name and the things she did. I said that this lady sounds like she was very helpful and nice to you, however, it just wasn’t me.

While we were spending time together he would get that inquiring look on his face and continued to say that I was that lady. When I tied his shoe lace for him he said “See? Don’t you remember doing this for me at my old school?”

The point to this story is that the person he is talking about is real. However it was some time ago that she had been involved in this young man’s life, yet he remembers her name and the things she did to help him, the kindness she showed.

In my job I see so many separated parents who are upset by the limited time they have with their children – and this is completely understandable. However, don’t underestimate the influence or effect the time you do spend with your child has on them. Remember a special fond memory from your own childhood. Most times it is something repetitive like, “We would always…” Other times it’s an occasional thing and that’s what made it special; “Sometimes we…” Then there memories like “Once we…”

Importantly, it’s usually what most would class as small things which people identify as the bases of warm, fond memories. Engaging and being present makes an incredible difference to a child. Don’t underestimate the influence this can have.

— Carolyn, Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner @ Relationships Australia Qld

** If you could like help with making arrangements and agreements following separation, please call us on 1300 364 277 to discuss your options.

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